Game Notes: Dodgers 3, Padres 0 (4-24)

The Padres scored zero runs, but the Dodgers scored three.  Therefore, according to the rules of baseball, the Dodgers were awarded a win.  According to the rules of life, the Dodgers were sent to hell for all eternity because they are comprised of 25 complete and utter pieces of shit. Games notes:

Alexi is depressing

I like Amarista.  He just shouldn’t be our starting shortstop for this magnificent season.  He killed two rallies in the early innings. With the bases loaded in the 2nd he struck out.  Anything but a strikeout there totally alters the game. Our 6  and 7 batters (Norris and Middlebrooks) were getting on, but Alexi coming to the plate he just deflates the situation.  His mere presence seemed to settle Greinke down.  Can’t have that shit.  Not this year.  Despite a well turned double play today, his defense isn’t spectacular enough to warrant his lack of offense. Let’s go all in nab someone significantly better.  I know you’re reading this, AJ.  Come on, bro.

Cashner throwing baseballs well

Cash looked great all night.  Don’t be mistaken, the Dodgers lineup is hella solid one through eight (one through nine with Greinke on the mound).  With the exception of the Crawford homerun in the 7th, Dodger hitters were rarely able to square up his offerings. He got Douche-mani Grandal to ground into a key double play in the 6th and had six strikeouts on the night.  Although his previous starts this season felt kinda sketchy, he’s throwing up a 2.63 ERA. Not bad from your 3rd starter.  He also took a hack with the bases loaded in 2nd that sent him into a spinning corkscrew. Though such displays are not surprising from Andrew, they continue to be endearing.