Three Adorable Tweets from Odrisamer Despaigne

With Ian Kennedy’s return to the rotation today, let’s take a minute to think about the man who did such a wonderful job of filling in for him.  If Odrisamer Despaigne  isn’t one of your favorite Padres, you’re a cold hearted son-of-a-gun.  Here are three adorable tweets from him.  Let the cute tingles flow through your body.

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Game Notes: Dodgers 3, Padres 0 (4-24)

The Padres scored zero runs, but the Dodgers scored three.  Therefore, according to the rules of baseball, the Dodgers were awarded a win.  According to the rules of life, the Dodgers were sent to hell for all eternity because they are comprised of 25 complete and utter pieces of shit. Games notes:

Alexi is depressing

I like Amarista.  He just shouldn’t be our starting shortstop for this magnificent season.  He killed two rallies in the early innings. With the bases loaded in the 2nd he struck out.  Anything but a strikeout there totally alters the game. Our 6  and 7 batters (Norris and Middlebrooks) were getting on, but Alexi coming to the plate he just deflates the situation.  His mere presence seemed to settle Greinke down.  Can’t have that shit.  Not this year.  Despite a well turned double play today, his defense isn’t spectacular enough to warrant his lack of offense. Let’s go all in nab someone significantly better.  I know you’re reading this, AJ.  Come on, bro.

Cashner throwing baseballs well

Cash looked great all night.  Don’t be mistaken, the Dodgers lineup is hella solid one through eight (one through nine with Greinke on the mound).  With the exception of the Crawford homerun in the 7th, Dodger hitters were rarely able to square up his offerings. He got Douche-mani Grandal to ground into a key double play in the 6th and had six strikeouts on the night.  Although his previous starts this season felt kinda sketchy, he’s throwing up a 2.63 ERA. Not bad from your 3rd starter.  He also took a hack with the bases loaded in 2nd that sent him into a spinning corkscrew. Though such displays are not surprising from Andrew, they continue to be endearing.

Game Notes: Padres 4, Rockies 5 (4-22)

Los pinche bueno Padres de San Diego lost a baseball game to a team called the Rockies because the Padres scored 4 points, but the Rockies scored more.  That sucks. Game notes below.

Wil Myers emerging as a leader?

When we traded for Myers, there were a lot of rumblings that attitude played a part in the Rays’ view of him as expendable. I even heard an interview with Buddy soon after the December trade-a-thon where he basically said that Wil had some serious maturing to do. It’s still early, but at least with his on the field performance, he seems to be developing into a leader.  As stated by Jesse Agler:

I agree.  ‘In the thick of it’ seems to be an appropriate expression.  Lately, the little cutie seems to be contributing when we need him the most, and when he gets back into the dugout he continues to be all up in it.  He immediately starts chatting fools up and encouraging others.  I get the feeling that he’s a bit too enthusiastic, and might get on some of the older guys’ nerves, but they’re probably just jealous of his boyish good looks.

I <3 Wil

Derek Norris and the Agilities 

The way Derek moves around behind the plate is nothing short of magnificent.  Watching him in the 7th was like watching a god-damned ballet with jaguars starring as the ballerinas.

After several pitches from Thayer in the dirt, he bounced up and fired the ball to first base to try to catch Ynoa loping. After another bouncer, Ynoa tried to go to second and Norris nailed his ass with a perfect throw; his second caught stealing of the game.  At this point, we’ve gotten used to Norris gunning down jabronies with extreme prejudice.  But again, during this half inning, I was just totally impressed by how quick, graceful, and aware he is back there.  Beautiful to watch.

Kimbrel trade might prove to be most important of AJ’s deals

What first inspired surprise now seems to be another stroke of genius.  At the time, people were perplexed that AJ chose to strengthen a strength by adding Kimbrel to the bullpen rather than focusing on the infield.  However, thus far, our bullpen hasn’t exactly been shut-down.   Read more

Game Notes: Padres 14, Rockies 3 (4-20)

These were hard game notes to write.  So many talking points, and wonderful moments to send you to bed happy.  The Padres opened up a mammoth can of whoop-ass on the Rockies, winning the first game of the series 14-3.

You can find an actual informative rundown of the game from MLB.com by click right here.

Derek Norris, natural Xanax.

He is such a soothing player to watch at the plate.  I would imagine if I was wearing a heart rate monitor during the game, I would be damn near flatlined when he comes up.  Not because he’s boring, but because he inspires such calm confidence in myself, the fan. You don’t get too excited thinking he’s going to hit a 500 foot homer, but you also don’t get worried thinking he’s gonna do something irrational. Today, he was 3-5 with two doubles and an RBI.  On an unrelated note, his face reminds me of an ent from Lord of the Rings.  He’s quickly becoming my favorite Padre.

 OD’s first hit: 

The visuals from the dugout after Odrisamer’s first hit in the 3rd were nothing short of heart-warming.  Cory Spangenberg was smiling like a little girl who just got a pony for her birthday, Yonder jumped out of his seat and pulled on his hair like he just saw a god-damned UFO,  Kotsay was banging on the top rail of the dugout like he just took a double shot of Fireball.  Not that it’s been lacking this season, but it’s always awesome to see genuine team spirit and emotion from the boys.  At first base, OD was playing it cool, shrugging it off, but couldn’t hide a smile.  What a great moment. Then, I read this tweet and felt a little bad for him.  Hope he learns to say “fuck you guys” ASAP.

OD going deep into the game:

The bullpen’s been worked hard in the last two series…you’re going into Coors Field.  Not a good combo.  OD said, probably in Spanish, “Chinga that noise, I got this.”  He quietly dominated the game into the 7th while giving up only two runs on six hits. In the process, he gave our key relievers a much needed rest. Garces and Rearick, fringe pen members, finished the game off with not much ado.

Don’t fight the power:

I can’t remember so many Padres going the other way with the ball with such regularity. Norris, Yonder and Middlebrooks have especially shown an ability to take an outside fastball the other way. Two of Norris’ hits today went to left field, Middlebrooks has homered a couple times to the opposite field, and Yonder is developing a propensity for the 5.5 hole.  People who know shit about baseball say that’s a good sign.

Kemp’s 3 hits and 4 RBIs:

I honestly don’t know what to say or what superlative to use.  It’s like the Tao.  That which can be spoken of is not the true Kemp.

Game Notes: Padres 5, Cubs 2 (4-19)

On Sunday April 19th at Wrigley Field, the San Diego Padres disposed of the Chicago Cubs by a score of 5-2.  In doing so, our boys took another series and improved their season record to 8-5.  You can find Corey Brock’s full rundown of the game here.  Below, you’ll find some points from the game that stood out to us.

Cashner and Amarista bromance

Did you see their elaborate handshake? It looked awesome. One reason for the awesomeness is that Cashner is 6’5 and Alexi is 5’6.  Another reason is that I’m pretty sure Alexi barely speaks English.  These are the last two guys I would have expected to have a man crush on each other, but yet there it is.  I would imagine the friendship was solidified when Cash introduced Alexi to his favorite type of bourbon.


Buddy’s ejection leads to a HR, base hit

In the 2nd inning, Buddy screamed something after a ball/strike call to Will Middlebrooks and got tossed while still in the dugout.  That’s impressive.  Buddy was so mad, he was making Venable, who was waiting in the hole, super uncomfortable.  Two pitches after the ejection, Middlebrooks cuuuuh-rushed a 2-run HR to left.  Struggling Jedd Gyorko followed with a base hit. Then Venable, who was disturbed by Buddy’s outburst, went on to knock an RBI single in the 6th. Coincidence? Yes. Why did I bring this up, then? I don’t know.

Jedd stumbling his way out of the dog house 

It’s not pretty, but it’s starting to happen.  Two hits today and one yesterday.  Buddy mentioned in an interview yesterday that Jedd has been hitting the ball hard since his return from the bench.

What do you guess he worked on with hitting coach Mark Kotsay during his time off? Everyone (Buddy, Mark Grant, Bevacqua, Sweeney, etc.) was saying that Jedd was just trying too hard. My theory is that, during Jedd’s sabbatical, Kotsay simply tried to take his mind off baseball by making him do peyote.   Read more

Pads Pod Episode 4: Guess Who

On this episode of Pads Pod we discuss the San Diego Padres series win against the Diamondbacks and gush about our wonderful lineup.  Also, we ponder the theory that AJ is behind the Chargers leaving San Diego.  Finally, we play a Padres ‘Guess Who’ game. You’ll also hear an entertaining commercial from our sponsor Penised.com who created the logo you see below.

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Game Notes: Padres vs D-Bags (4-15)

Henceforth, Pads Pod shall attempt to post some takeaway thoughts/notes following most games. Below, you’ll find the above-mentioned attempt as we think through the Padres’ 3-2 defeat of Arizona to gain a series win and complete a 5-2 homestand.

Our superstars don’t take the game for granted:  

Unlike that douchebag right fielder up in LA, our superstars hustle and play humble. Upton’s huge night, which consisted of 2 singles, a diving catch, and a game winning solo HR, is a great example of that. Upton realizes it’s a team game.  He is having smart, contact-focused at bats when needed, but also seems to realize when it’s appropriate to swing for the fences.

Also, Upton got super fucking pissed when he popped out with men on in the sixth.  That’s not the first time I’ve seen him do that.  Dude knows he’s a leader and accountable.

I think this applies to Kemp too.  He hasn’t gone yard yet, but that shit doesn’t bother him.  He’s taking what’s being given to him and getting on base instead (or sacrifice flying in the 6th) instead of trying to make it on shitty-ass SportsCenter.

How the fuck did the Diamondbacks win a World Series?:  

They’re fucking lame. Read more

Pads Pod Bonus: End of Spring Training Report

Friday signaled the end of Spring Training for the 2015 San Diego Padres. As a farewell to Spring Training, we hear from a fan who has just finished her annual trip to Peoria. On this episode of Pads Pod, we speak to our special correspondent, and super Padres fan, Yoshi. Yoshi tells us about her favorite memories from her 3 day sojourn to Peoria, we discuss Jedd Gyorko’s physique, and we examine Justin Upton’s twitter account.

Pads Pod Episode 2: Mind Erase (you can’t win ’em all)

In this second episode of Pads Pod we a) take listener questions, b) discuss missing out on Hector Olivera and c) chat about the value of fair weather fans.  As always, our discussion is intensely immature yet wonderfully entertaining.  This episode includes fake commercials from Toms and Food 4 Less.

Subscribe to Pads Pod by clicking on the links below.  You can download the ‘cast directly by going to archive.org.

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